Topical Humor

Taken from Conan O'Brien:

"What do Tiger Woods and seals have in common?"







"They're both clubbed by Norwegians."

Life Lesson #4

Life is not a riddle,
Riddles are meant to be solved.

It's the beginning -

- of a new age.

Life Lesson #3

Your family and friends aren't always interchangeable terms.

Dear Thanksgiving

Dear Thanksgiving,

You are quite the peculiar holiday. I both hate and understand you completely Thanksgiving. On one hand, the basis of your holiday is to get together with friends and family and eat a lot. Sure, maybe we should also reflect on the Pilgrims and whatnot, but let's be real, we weren't friends with Native Americans at that time - we just wanted to survive. At any rate, the holiday makes sense. It's one true goal is to eat a lot with others. The holiday isn't some bullshit religious message or something deeper. Your counterpart Christmas tries to celebrate the birth of Christ, which is quickly overshadowed by Santa Claus, Christmas trees, songs, reindeer, and, above all, presents galore. Christmas has a deeper meaning, which makes you better than it Thanksgiving. You say 'eat,' and I say 'it shall be eaten.'

On the other hand Thanksgiving, I hate you. You perpetuate the idea that our family is also our friends, which obviously isn't true. You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. The problem with this is that everyone pretends to be friends and something typically goes awry (or maybe this is just my experience). I don't understand why I can't spend this holiday with people I want to spend time with Thanksgiving. Your holiday has caused families nationwide to pursue ridiculous family traditions and get-together-s.

The problem with you Thanksgiving is that commercialism has turned you into "That Holiday Before We All Go Ape Shit For Christmas." But it's not your fault, you just got placed at the wrong time of the year. Either that or people need to chill the fuck out about Christmas, because frankly I don't understand the hype. The media has tried to destroy you Thanksgiving. You are now intricately linked to Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, Thanksgiving Football Specials, and, above all, Black Friday (also Cyber Monday).

I feel pity for you Thanksgiving. You had so much potential. You wanted people to eat bountiful meals while sharing time with people we enjoy (more or less). But, tragically, somewhere along the line you were manipulated. You got associated, as do most holidays, with massive consumerism. As much as I dislike some aspects of family togetherness, the entirety of Black Friday and Thanksgiving decor, I will continue to celebrate you with the stereotypical foods of Turkey, Pumpkin Pie, Stuffing, and Mashed Potatoes. I am glad you want us all to enjoy ourselves and eat ourselves into a food comatose state, Thanksgiving. This Thanksgiving, I give thanks for Thanksgiving.

Thanks Thanksgiving.

God Bless You,

Megavideo

Sending out E-Cards:

Is exactly like playing Apples to Apples.